Thursday, March 24, 2011

The Husband “How To” Lists: Biblical Marriage (Part 3)

The Companionship Model

God’s design, as we understand from Genesis 3:24, is a companionship model of marriage. The primary factor in establishing a relationship on a solid foundation is that your relationship be based upon deep friendship. “Cleaving” and “knowing” are foundational to companionship. Friendship can be described as “a mutual respect for and enjoyment of each others company.”

Men are by nature builders and “fixers”. We want to build things and fix things that are broken. When it comes to marriage, husbands may look to make their marriage strong but are often uncertain how to do it successfully. I want to share some practical ideas that will help husbands retain or revive their own skills in relationships.

First, however, let’s consider various ways husbands can create marital problems. This is a “What NOT To Do” list!

How Men Destroy Marriage

  • Don’t compliment her.
  • Don’t demonstrate you are thinking of her.
  • Don’t interact meaningfully with her.
  • Be deceptive.
  • Withhold money and spend it only on what you want.
  • Do things with your buddies rather than with your children.
  • Criticize her frequently.
  • Don’t pay attention to her.
  • Don’t do anything around the house.
  • Make her feel stupid.
  • Try to remake her.
  • Be lazy.
  • Compare her to other women.
  • Verbally abuse and humiliate her. Demand, dominate and demean.

Now let’s discover what husbands can do to produce a strong marriage…

How to Build Your Marriage:

  • Treat your wife as your partner and teammate.
  • Tell her with your eyes that you love her, but tell her also.
  • Give her non-sexual affection. Hold her hand in public, open the door for her, pray for her and help her.
  • Stay connected to her. Let communication flow.
  • Praise her at least once a day.

In the marriage seminars my wife and I have done over the years, I’ve said to both husbands and wives, “Working briefly on your marriage every day will do more for your health and longevity that working out at a health club.” Husbands, let’s build well every day!

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